The Midfielder

Family Breakfast

Often it is doing simple things well that matters, although sometimes simply doing nothing is just as effective

THE MIDFIELDER

Family breakfast at the Mews

Expecting a call from the England team manager

About what

Seems that Fitzroy has been tipped for a call up

The lady of the house not being au fait with the sports pages

Asked, explique please

Wow, chorused the kids

Yes, said Dad, sounds unlikely

The last time I saw him play, he only touched the ball once

And that was a free kick when a teammate operated his leg Subbuteo-style

And even then the ball barely travelled a yard

Then a bad tackle saw him spread-eagled in the mud by a boot almost as big as him

But, seems like a couple of seasons ago

Carrying out mascot duties for a local team

They were a man short

Stuck him in midfield and won

Following week he was dropped, they lost

Reinstated, they won and couldn’t stop winning

Came to the attention of our league team who signed him

Promotion in the first season

It’s in the family, said Mum

Kids eat your scrambled eggs

My great-grandfather played league football, that I do know

Cycled to the ground every Saturday afternoon

Played in front of thousands

Cycled back in the gloom, caked with mud, no showers in those days

Except those that the Lord supplied, he would say

Win bonus, fish and chips for the family

Picked up on the way home

If they lost it was bread and lard as usual

Scraped together enough pennies to start a grocery store

That’s how the family business got going

And the rest is, well

The rest is twenty-four-hour shopping

Of course, your father is a rugby man

Varsity man on the wing

Never scored, blamed kicking fly half and greedy centres

Not like him at all, but got interested in other things

Like being a spy, asked one of the kids innocently

Awkward silence

Broken by the telephone, that might be him

Mumble, mumble, mumble on the phone, yeh, yeh right yeh, I’ll tell him, yeh thanks goodbye

Was that him, is Fitzroy in

Yes, but not the call we were expecting

His daughter is having a party for her soft toys

Invited you all and Fitz to go along.