Tuffty

The Mews Family Meeting

Are we suspicious when somebody new enters the room, or do we welcome them in our hearts

TUFFTY

One of the kids had a gift for remembering

If you gave her any of the toys or games or creatures in the playroom she could say

Who it belonged to, when they got it, and more than likely who gave it to them

Strangely though, she could never remember where she put her own things

Where’s the game, you know, the one that Auntie gave me for my seventh birthday

Or something like that was a familiar cry

She knows the provenance of everything but

The location of nothing, Dad once remarked

It became a bit of a family joke, in a good-natured sort of way

However, when it came to Tuffty she just shrugged

Lost your gift, teased one of her sisters

But no one in the family had the slightest idea as to the provenance of Tuffty

That’s why they were all sitting around the kitchen table for a family meeting

That was all except Dad, who was otherwise occupied

Mum started

It is important that your father and I have some idea of what’s going on in the house

Particularly due to the sensitive nature of his work

What is his work, asked one of the kids innocently

I really don’t know, replied Mum, and even if I did I would probably not be at liberty to tell you

Does Dad himself know what his work is, asked another less innocently

A question that Mum noted but ignored

She carried on

Now we don’t want to micromanage you kids, as you know

We want to respect the Playroom Treaty, but sometimes adult intervention may be required

This may be one of those times

We have a bear who has attained considerable prominence in the life of the playroom

How has he done this, by his charisma, his charm, his character, no

He has achieved this by allowing himself to be subjected to all sorts of demeaning activities

He has been burnt at the stake, cut in half, and used as a football

15-5 to Mews United, whispered one of the boys, we thrashed them

Not to mention the usual indignities meted out in the rough and tumble of the playroom

That bear is Tuffty

Not his fault if everybody picks on him, said one of the younger ones

No, said Mum, but there may be more to it than that

No one knows where he came from or why he is here

Now think all of you

Was he a Birthday or Christmas present

Was he found somewhere or left by one of your friends

But no one had the slightest idea, not a clue

Mum carried on

Now, your average toy belongs to someone

Knows its place in the grand scheme of the playroom

But we have in our midst no average toy

Tuffty belongs to no one, answers to no one, and may stop at nothing to achieve his aims

To achieve what he has been put here to do

Oh come on Mum, said the eldest

He’s just a teddy bear and a pretty scruffy one at that

This is getting to sound like paranoia

I thought it was us kids that are supposed to be crazy

Supposed to have overactive imaginations

Probably Fitzgerald left him here as a joke

Sort of thing he would do

Mum was getting serious

There have been rumours

I would like you to hear what the Italian wooden marionette has to say

Mum, are you talking about the one with the chip out of his shoulder

Don’t listen to him, he is always moaning about something or other

Like it’s all some capitalist plot to screw the workers

He is a mischief maker, said another, like to know who is pulling his strings

Might be Tuffty, chirped another

Exactly, said Mum, nodding her head

The marionette was duly fetched and presented to the family meeting

One of the kids was selected to work the marionette and another to give voice

Firstly, don’t you mean puppet, said the marionette, I am a puppet

And if it’s about the state of the playroom forget it, he said

Don’t know nothing about no rumours

Don’t know nothing about no teddy bears

That’s not what you said the other day, said Mum

But that was before the new play rotas were proposed

Oh take it away, said Mum, stick it back in its box

If I was not a wishy-washy centralist with liberal leanings it would be taken to the charity shop

The kids were getting fidgety, a little bit bored

So fortunately for everyone there was a sound at the door

Pizza delivery, shouted a voice

It was Dad having fun

Stacked with pizza boxes up to his chin

So meeting over, thank goodness

If we wanted to act like adults then we wouldn’t be kids, muttered one of the lads

Which of the pizzas is the one with the stuffed crust

The family certainly enjoyed pizza

Mum and Dad had a glass of wine or two with their meal

How was the meeting, asked a sanguine Dad

Mum shrugged and the kids just looked up with slices of pizza hanging from their mouths

In the playroom

The Italian marionette called a shop meeting

While Tuffty sat in the corner and watched and pondered his lot.